Five things men should think about during divorce

Of all the message boards and blog posts geared towards getting women prepared for divorce, very few identify or acknowledge the emotional pain men may endure. Perhaps the stereotype that men are supposed to be emotionless through trials may play a part in this.  

Nevertheless, men can (and do) have emotional difficulties during divorce; especially when there are children involved. As such, this post will provide some helpful pieces of advice for men going through a divorce.

Have a support system – You don’t have to be a fan of the Golden State Warriors to appreciate the phrase “strength in numbers.” Simply put, you should not have to endure a tough situation alone, so isolating yourself to avoid being a burden on others is not the answer. 

Don’t blame yourself – Being the proverbial “Monday morning quarterback” about what would have been is normal. But regardless of what you wish you did differently, keep in mind that a relationship is a two person job. If the other person isn’t vested in the relationship, it doesn’t matter how committed you may be. And that is not exclusively your fault.

Don’t disappear – You may think that leaving the family home may be the best thing for the children, since having them in a toxic atmosphere may not beneficial for them. However, leaving the family home may have many unintended consequences that you may not realize right now.

You are still a parent – For those who choose to leave (or are ordered to do so through a court order) do not forget that you are still a parent. Unless explicitly stated through a court order, you have a legal right to spend time with your children. Additionally, the kids expect you to stay around too.

Keep your money right – Like any type of litigation, divorce proceedings can be considerably expensive; both during the process and afterwards. It is important to establish a post-divorce budget so you have a realistic idea of what you will be able to afford after the divorce is finalized.

If you have additional questions about divorce, an experienced family law attorney can advise you.